I was at the playground with a friend the other day, watching our 5 year-old children take turns pushing each other on the swing. Out of the blue my friend turned to me and asked me if I had started talking about race with my mixed race daughter. The question caught me off guard as, being a multi-racial family, we have been talking about race in our household since my daughter could talk. But I know why she asked the question. I am white, as are my siblings and parents. We didn’t talk about race very much growing up either. According to a recent report by The Sesame Workshop, 60% of parents rarely or never talk about race with their kids and only 10% talk about it often.
And yet, according to the Pacer’s Anti Bullying Prevention Center 20% of kids are bullied at school with the biggest motive being physical appearance, race/ethnicity, gender, disability, religion, or sexual orientation. There is a misconception that kids only see race when it’s pointed out to them (therefore, don’t talk about it) – however in studies babies notice race as early as 3 months old, and by age 5 kids show similar biases as adults and associate some groups as holding higher status than others. A study by Bronson and Merryman showed that explicitly talking to kids about interracial friendships can significantly improve their attitudes towards race in just one week. So clearly these conversations are important—but where to begin?
As I shared with my friend on the playground—books can be a wonderful starting point for difficult conversations with children. I have had such rich conversations with my daughter after reading books that explore different ways of being in the world. Below is a list of some of my favorites (note my love of beautiful illustrations). Lots of these books deal with multiple issues, but I’ve tried to highlight some main themes. There are so many more out there, so please share with me any other favorites you may have- I love learning about more! And for those with or without young kids I highly suggest checking out books or podcasts that can expand your own understanding of race. And without further ado, here are my top 40…
JEN’S FAVORITE KIDS BOOKS FOR:
Talking about skin color
The Colors of Us by Karen Katz
Happy in our Skin by Fran Manushkin
Let’s Talk about Race by Julius Lester
All the Colors We Are: The Story of How We Get our Skin Color by Katie Kissinger
Being proud of who you are / learning compassion for others
The Proudest Blue by Ibtihaj Muhammad
The Ugly Vegetables by Grace Lin
All the Ways to Be Smart by Davina Bell and Allison Colpoys
I am Enough by Grace Byers
It’s ok to be Different by Todd Parr
Marisol McDonald Doesn’t Match by Monica Brown
A day in the life of Marlon Bundo by Marlon Bundo and Jill Twiss
I Love My Hair by Natasha Anastasia Tarpley
This is How We do it by Matt Lamothe
Island Born by Junot Diaz
A is for All the Things You Are: A Joyful ABC Book by Anna Forgerson Hindley
Talking about disability
Just Ask by Sonia Sotomayor
Taking a stand against toxic masculinity
A Boy Like You by Frank Murphy
Mama Says: Book of Love for Mothers and Sons by Rob D. Walker
Talking about marriage equality
A day in the life of Marlon Bundo by Marlon Bundo and Jill Twiss
Talking about gender identity
Julian is a Mermaid by Jessica Love When Aiden Became a Brother by Kyle Lukoff
Talking about refugee/immigrant experiences
Dreamers by Yuyi Morales
Priya Dreams of Marigolds and Masala by Meenal Patel
I’m New Here by Anne Sibley O’Brian
The Journey by Francesca Sanna
Talking about religion
Holy Trouble Makers and Unconventional Saints by Daneen Akers
Supporting body positivity
Your Body is Awesome: Body Respect for Children by Sigrun Danielsdottir
I Like Myself by Karen Beaumont
Talking about allyship
Say Something by Peter Reynolds
A is for Activist by Innosanto Nagara
Last Stop on Market Street by Matt de la Pena
What Can a Citizen Do? by Dave Eggers
The Big Umbrella by Amy June Bates
Getting inspired by people who have done amazing things and overcome odds
Radiant Child: The Story of Young artist Jean-Michel Basquiat by Javaka Stept Hidden Figures: The true story of Four Black Women and the Space Race by Margot Lee Shetterly
Drum Dream Girl by Margarita Engle
Dancing Hands: How Teresa Carreno Played the piano for President Lincoln by Margarita Engle
The Secret Kingdom: Nek Chand, a changing India and a Hidden World of Art by Barb Rosenstock
Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls by Elena Favilli and Francesca Cavallo
Rad Women A-Z by Kate Shatz
Rad Women Worldwide by Kate Shatz
Women in Art by Rachel Ignotfsky